I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say!
by WriterWen
Summary: After reviving Leaf during the rescue of Princess Alice, Grisia loses not only his sight but his memories too. 'So I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say! 走自己的路,让它见鬼去吧' [OOC!L-level(so-really-really-fudging)Smart!Grisia] [Divergent during Vol3/author only read to Vol3] [Presumes Grisia was 14 in the Sun Knight trials] [Polls/Votes for genderbender!Grisia and pairings]
1. Prologue

**I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say!**

 **走自己的路,让它见鬼去吧！**

Zǒu zìjǐ de lù, ràng tā jiànguǐ qù ba!

* * *

 **Summary:**

 _After reviving Leaf during the rescue of Princess Alice, Grisia loses not only his sight but his memories too. '_ So I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say! 走自己的路,让它见鬼去吧! _'_ _ **[OOC!L-level(so-really-**_ **really _-fudging)Smart!Grisia] [Divergent during Volume three/author has only read to Volume three] [Presumes Grisia was 14 in the Sun Knight trials] [Polls/Votes for genderbender!Grisia and pairings]_**

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 **Notes/Poll:**

Some polls for stuff in the bottom notes, didn't put them here cuz it was so long :(

* * *

 **Prologue**

* * *

"Sun…"

My mind was completely numb. It felt like someone had stuffed a huge pillow into the confines of my head, filling it out with nothing but the pleasant soft buzz of contentedness. Ah, is this the bliss of ignorance I wonder?

I could see nothing other then darkness but that did not mean I couldn't feel the tickle of thin grass blades at my back or the cool gentle breeze brush over me, nor did it mean that I couldn't hear the quiet tweet of birds and wildlife or the hushed whisper of voices.

Something was wrong though, I could feel it... However in such a relaxed state I could not begin to even muster up the strength to attempt to pull myself from the sweet siren call of sleep, let alone try to figure out what this feeling of unease could be coming from.

Plus, ignoring my feelings was simple, coming so easily to me in the times I decided to do so.

"Sun…"

Although, there was that one vaguely irritating voice that penetrated the blanket of drowsiness I wrapped myself within. Can he not see that I am trying to sleep here? What a rude person, not letting even sleep and unconsciousness deter him from his...

... His what exactly? I am not entirely sure what he is trying to accomplish -is he perhaps trying to call to the sun with a strange prayer?

Without any accompanying information I'd estimate that it is a 23.2% possibility with an error margin of 6%.

Wait... How do I not have any accompanying information? I know myself, I am not the type of person that could sleep comfortably in an unknown area with unknown people. I need the assurance of cold hard facts -facts that tell me where I am, who is with me and the possible situations and outcomes of allying myself with them.

And yet here I find myself unable to recall any facts about my own circumstances at this current moment and I cannot blame drowsiness as my mind in now fully awake even if I may not look it.

I suddenly realise with a jolt that I cannot recall any memories after the age of fourteen either.

Not good...

There are no good implications to that fact.

"Sun."

All I know is that, judging by the number of different voices I can hear, there is a group of three standing approximately a metre and a half away, comprised of two males and one female while the one calling to the sun is currently kneeling over me. Its unfortunate that I cannot hear the whispers of the group as it could have given me some insight into this situation. The one closest to me (male I deduce from the timbre of his voice, seemingly excessively anxious and worried, aged around twenty-one, twenty-two) fails to give me any useful information other than the fact that he will stop calling out uselessly to the sun.

I know without a doubt that for a person like me, the possibility of finding myself in a situation where I have so little information is 0.02%.

Or at least, the chance of me willingly doing such a thing is 0.02%.

Finding myself in these circumstances _unwillingly_ on the other hand, well that was an entirely different matter...

(A 10.34% chance to be specific -low but still a significance bit higher then 0.02%.)

If they had indeed taken me against my will, then the best course of action would be to continue pretending to be asleep. They would underestimate me in this state and sooner or latter they could possibly slip up and offer some much needed information.

However, things didn't add up in my hypothesis.

If they had kidnapped me, why had they not bound me? I could feel no ropes or chains on my person nor could I feel the restrictions of magical bindings. Where they cocky enough to think that they would not need too? No that was too unlikely (2.31% chance) -no un-captured team of slave traders or human traffickers would be so stupid.

But then if it wasn't that, then what was it?

I wanted to scowl.

The situation didn't make sense. It was illogical.

There's nothing in this world that I hate more then that, that and ignorance.

Slowly I open my eyes and I find... Nothing.

I see nothing but darkness.

"Sun?"

Even blinking does not dispel the unending blackness. It is beyond unnerving and I try desperately to halt the workings of my brain despite its futility. I can tell from the awful feeling of my heart plummeting into the depths of my gut that I already instinctively know why this darkness clouds my vision.

I could see no shadows, no shapes, no outlines, nothing that could indicate the comfort of night. The pure darkness did not abate in the slightest -not a temporary blackout then.

How was I suppose to know where I was? Or who was with me? How could I trust my own psychoanalyses if I couldn't even see the people I was analysing?

Damnit...

"Sun…" I hear the voice again, trembling with something I identify as guilt.

Strange, he seems to be addressing me with that word, sun, I thought as I sat up.

In the back of my mind I noted the sun-prayer hypothesis' possibility drop from 23.2% to 12.5%.

There was no need to turn my head towards the voice so I didn't. If I could not see the man, then how could I gather information? By touch?

"Your eyes-"

"Who are you?" I interrupted.

* * *

 **Notes/Poll:**

So I got a few questions I wanna ask you guys,

 ** _1\. Should I do a genderbender on Grisia?_**

I usually love genderbenders (because, sue me, I love those shocker moments) but I don't know if I should do it with this story. I feel like I'd be making Grisia too OOC (I mean he's already enough OOC as it is) and giving his character too many twists or shock factor elements (again in the current plan that I have, Grisia has a fuuuuudge ton too many of these, its like I just mashed up a bunch of character clichés together).

 _ **2\. a) Should I do a pairing?**_

Again, I love pairings -sometimes I will even be so picky that I will choose not to read something if it doesn't have a pairing. Buuuut in the plan I've got going I feel like there's so much happening that a pairing will only distract from the story or it will focus on the story too much that the pairing will seem like one of those rushed _yeah-I-had-no-feelings-what-so-ever-before-but-hey-I-suddenly-out-of-nowhere-love-you-now-lets-bang:)_ things and I hate those. I'm not sure if I can balance between romance and story (I can barely do story on its own as it is, you know :/ ). But then again I also feel like telling myself, "you know you're just gonna do a pairing in then end, whether you should or ya shouldn't, so just fudging do it".

 _ **b) If I do a pairing, what should it be?**_

Originally I wanted to do a freaking **[Mike\Grisia]** pairing cuz man, there's _none_ of that stuff **_anywhere_ ** :( Nil, nah-da, nothing! It makes me so sad because I really wanna see that. But at the same time, I think it'd take a lot of skill (which I got none) to pull that off properly or in a way that doesn't seem like that no-feelings-suddenly-lets-bang thing as mentioned before.

And because I'm so indecisive, poll time :D (in the reviews, I doubt people would be bothered to go to the polls on th profile), and any and all _**dudes (yes I'm one of those filthy guy on guy shippers ;p ) (p.s, if I do a fem!Grisia I wouldn't mind doing a fem on fem or fem!Grisia on dude pairing -IDK why I'm like this)** _ are in the running (apart from people that would be non-age appropriate unless you have some really genius way to make it not... you know).


	2. Chapter One

**I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say!**

 **走自己的路,让它见鬼去吧！**

Zǒu zìjǐ de lù, ràng tā jiànguǐ qù ba!

* * *

 **Summary:**

 _After reviving Leaf during the rescue of Princess Alice, Grisia loses not only his sight but his memories too. '_ So I'll walk my own path, to hell with what they say! 走自己的路,让它见鬼去吧! _'_ _ **[OOC!L-level(so-really-**_ **really** _ **-fudging)Smart!Grisia] [Divergent during Volume three/author has only read to Volume three] [Presumes Grisia was 14 in the Sun Knight trials]**_ ** _[Polls/Votes for genderbender!Grisia and pairings]_**

* * *

 **Notes/Poll:**

So the polls from the previous chapter here as a reminder,

 ** _1\. Should I do a genderbender on Grisia?_**

 _ **2\. a) Should I do a pairing?**_

 _ **b) If I do a pairing, what should it be?**_

You can chose from any dude/male characters for Grisia or any character (male or female) for fem!Grisia, no majorly inappropriate age gaps unless you have a really fudging convincing arguement - I'm really sorry if that offends anyone but I have my preferences in writing and I really don't feel like I could pull off some things. (p.s if you want to know my prefrenece, I was gonna do [Mike\Grisia] -just thought I'd say that because I don't think many people even thought of it)

* * *

 **Chapter One**

* * *

"Who are you?" Sun says with bluntness unbefitting of the Sun Knight.

My brain froze.

"Sun, it's me, Leaf." I stared in utter shock and remorse at Sun. "Do... Do you not remember me?"

Because I was so careless, I had died at that Dark Knight's hand. I, an archer who stood in the back row, protected by Mike, Ann and Austin, had been struck down.

Truly, that was an undeniable show of carelessness.

And my death not only selfishly incurred the worry of the group and delayed their quest, but also forced Sun to resurrect me, sacrificing his _sight_ and _memories_ for me and my inexcusable inattentiveness.

The worse part of it however, is how I am secretly glad Sun resurrected me.

Like any other person, I fear death and I fear dying young, at an age where I have only lived near to a quarter of my entire lifespan. But really, in a profession like mine, can I really have such selfish wishes when I have already completed my life's dream while other knights die namelessly with theirs shattered and lost, forever beyond the reach of their cold, dead hands?

I hardly noticed my body tense and shake, or the ragged tremors wracking my breaths.

I hardly noticed Sun speak either, his voice sounding a million miles away.

I must of remained silent in my haze for a while since it was the movement of Sun's hand over my face that brought me from the morbid and erratic thoughts at the forefront of my mind.

"You have a low amount of baby fat, meaning that you are either some type of heavy lifting manual labour worker, a fighter or simply someone with good genes or a preference for dieting." he murmurs, the smooth skin of his fingers brushing over my cheeks. Seeing as though Sun can no longer see, I let him touch my face in this strange, slightly intimate way. It was not like he could remember me through sight after all.

The touch is almost comforting in a way. It asserts the fact that Sun is still with us and it was not his life that he had paid for me.

"However the healthy feel of your skin rules out dieting." I fight the urge to fidget as the fingers move from my left cheek, over my nose to the right, leaving a ticklish trail over my skin.

Is he trying to figure out who I am from the feel of my face? Would that even be possible for someone with sight to do that? Wasn't it impossible for someone to look at another's face and unearth any sort of meaningful facts on that person? After all, a beautiful and graceful body did not always equate to a beautiful and graceful personality -Sun of all people should know this.

I immediately felt guilty for such an uncharitable thought towards my brother -one who had sacrificed his sight and memories for me.

"There are a few faint scars on your face which point to fighter as the mostly likely conclusion at a 72.9% possibility." He lingers on a spot near my jawbone, just under my ear. "From the thin shape of the scars, I can tell that they were made by small daggers and knives, and given how jagged the edges are, I'd say there's a 61.5% chance that the throwers were unskilled or self taught rouges."

I stand corrected.

From just the feel of the scars he was able to figure out what type of person had created them.

"And I say throwers as the angle of the scars can only be created from a thrown object -the swing of the dagger would be awkward and executing that in a fast paced battle has only a 3.2% chance."

The Sun Knight is truly a terrifying person, one with the intellect to calculate the percentage of a outcome. With an ability like that he could probably expose the deepest most darkest and hidden secret of a person with just a glance... Or touch as it is now...

But now that I think about it, could this mean that before he lost his memories, Sun had know all this time about the rogue. If he could work it out without any memories surely he would be able to have figured it out all those years ago, especially _with_ his sight.

That was not a pleasant thought since the rogue, Sho (or was it Shu?), was a type of person that I could not feel sympathy for, try as I might. His actions were truly nauseating. It was just a bout of bad luck on my part that the man was about during my patrol.

It hadn't been a particularly large incident so it was possible Sun did not know or bother to look so deep into it.

The thought relaxes me somewhat for if he truly did know, then it would be impossible to tell whether he knew other such details and secrets and kept hidden from us.

"By the sharp downwards stroke of the scar on your cheek, I can infer that the thrower had to be a long distance from you with a tall object shielding you from a direct hit."

That had been true. My vice captain and the rest of my platoon had moved in front of me as soon as the first dagger came flying down.

The hand now moves from the scar to my shoulder.

"Then there's your clothes -I feel that you have a leather strap over your shoulder, something to hold your weapon in, confirming that you are indeed a fighter. The smooth silken feel of your clothes reveal that they are of high quality despite the week old odor of sweat and fresh iron tang of blood and the small, almost unnoticeable, stitched up patches." Well, it was not like I had much money left over after buying all my spices.

"The embroidery suggest that they are more aesthetic then protective, but they are plain enough that it doesn't seem overly extravagant in the way that a noble's would be."

There was a pause as Sun withdrew his hand from me.

"Do you know what that all tells me about you, stranger?" I opened my mouth but he gave me no room to answer. "It tells me you are firstly; an archer -for what type of fighter could not be directly hit, afford to wear lightweight 'armour' and require the use of some sort of back holster, a quiver. Secondly; you most likely work on the side of the law as the unskilled rogues that drew your scars would hardly target an archer of an adventurer's squad when they can target traveling civilians and merchants. And finally; you are a non-noble, or non-recognisd noble, public figure -there can be no other reason for why you have such high quality clothes that you do not care to look after or replace, ruling out vanity or nobility as the reason."

Yes, the Sun Knight is truly and utterly terrifying to gather such an accurate picture from just one touch.

But no matter how terrifying he may be with an intellect more vicious then a shark's, I have still wronged him in an unforgivable way.

* * *

For those of you that don't check the top notes-

 **Notes/Poll:**

So the polls from the previous chapter here as a reminder,

 ** _1\. Should I do a genderbender on Grisia?_**

 _ **2\. a) Should I do a pairing?**_

 _ **b) If I do a pairing, what should it be?**_

You can chose from any dude/male characters for Grisia or any character (male or female) for fem!Grisia, no majorly inappropriate age gaps unless you have a really fudging convincing arguement - I'm really sorry if that offends anyone but I have my preferences in writing and I really don't feel like I could pull off some things. (p.s if you want to know my prefrenece, I was gonna do [Mike\Grisia] -just thought I'd say that because I don't think many people even thought of it)


End file.
